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The child Workplace: The Fullerton Hotel Birthday: 30th September About you: I love how my life have been going and definitely there's more awesome things planned to come previous posts What do I really want? It's been almost a year since i've blogged about h... His 4 handprints in my Life today.. Only He can.. WHATS NEW?!?! Tiring 2 weeks Falling in love again. Where's my freedom? What a news?!?!! past December 2005 November 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 February 2008 May 2008 June 2008 August 2008 September 2008 November 2008 December 2008 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 April 2010 September 2010 April 2011 Great Clicks
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Monday, April 25, 2011 ( Thanks for picking me up.. @ 11:57 pm ) Today was supposed to be a good day, but there was a minor squabble with my boyfriend and a bad discussion session with mum. Whatever it is, it will not end that way because I'm going to end it with you. Daddy, like a child I pray that my heart grows deeper for you. As I was listening to the sermon "How believers fall from grace- dated 17 April 2011, New Creation Church" I felt such relief hearing that I fell. At least I knew the cause of why I became a totally different person. My mind repeatedly reminded itself that how can I be a christian when I can't even act right. I'm not righteous enough. I know what is grace and I know that I'm forgiven but I can't feel it within me. It is just a "knowing" and not from within. After listening to the CD, I felt a totally new person. I will start off by the smallest (of which I thought it'll never work) which is to pray for your grace and wisdom for the present day. Though I can't see anything happening yet, I know something else is brewing. Somewhere, somehow it's prepared for me. I trust you totally for that. If there's something bad that I don't want to do, I'll not say "I will Never do it" <-- There's no power in it as I will end up doing it. Instead, I'll say, In Jesus name.. (now that's the POWER) I'll never do it. I won't use MY effort to try getting love, especially from my parents and brother. I've been doing that and it's making me very tired. I always try my best to be someone better, but they are like walking time-bomb that will get angry over trivial reason and starts splashing all sorts of remarks without thinking that it hurts alot in me. They didn't realise that the fact that I became so rude to them was because of their words used at me. It is because my heart hurt so much that I want them to feel the same (though it wasn't intentional, but they always assume it is a planned one). Why does she always think she's right? I don't understand the power she is having to let her feel that she's always right. Can't parents be wrong? Nevertheless, what I want to tell you is that, I want to be filled with sooo much of your love that all the effort that comes out from me will be the effort to love somebody without expecting anything back. The overflowing love that I want to share with everyone in my life. The effort given will be OUT OF LOVE and not FOR LOVE. Thank you for listening to me. At least I'm jotting it down, because I want to remember what I asked for. I want to give thanks to you even before the results are out. Amen ! 0 comments |